This Morning I Decided to Give Up (caution bad language!)

Last week, James and I started P90X3 and from the first second I hated it.

While I complained through the whole workout about Horton's comments to the women about their outfits, his annoying personality, and bad jokes....I worked out right alongside James. James said I would get used to him. I did.

 After the workouts, I was tired and sore so I kept up my commitment to do it for 90 days. "Trust the process", I told myself. It will work.

This morning I got up and we followed our normal routine. James turned on the iPad and we started. Tuesday is AgilityX....working on agility. I went through the warm up robotically, half assing it. When he started jumping around on one foot my legs wouldn't move and my knees hurt.  The lateral movements were not happening. Nine minutes in, James was breathing hard and sweating. I was barely breaking a sweat.

I threw a tantrum. "Fuck. I am done". I stomped to the other side of the room, grabbed my sweater and keys and left.

On the way home, I thought about a lot. The time I gave up on high school volleyball because I was tired of Varsity players talking smack about my weight and lack of endurance during practice. My Senior year when I decided against Track because I knew the new throwing Coach was going to make us run more than a lap during practice. The best? Being cornered by several girls in the Junior High locker room. That was super fun.

Anyway, I got home and knew that if I didn't do something that I would be more pissed at myself. I needed the release that I usually get with weight lifting,but I was too defeated to walk back to the gym.

Instead, I turned on Beach Body on Demand and chose Insanity Max cardio workout. It wasn't magical, I didn't suddenly "get it". I had to fight with myself the first ten minutes. "Just do it". I repeated several times n my head. But my knees didn't hurt and the warm up warmed me up enough to get going.

I am now out of the shower, glad that I quit. If I had stayed and done Agility, I likely would have hated it, fought it, and regretted sticking to it. My knees and body were not cooperating. Next week, I am going to do a longer warm up. I am hoping that warming up longer will prepare my knees and legs to complete the agility training.

Plus, I got a great cardio workout.