Why I Can't Wait for the New Year to Get Back on Track

Sooo...I have a weight. And when I reach that weight I start freaking out. That weight is 185.

What is my mental block at 185? Before my weight loss, the last time I was 185 was when I was in middle school. I remember looking at the scale and thinking, :"OK, if I just stay this weight and grow a few inches  I can deal with that."

Of course, I didn't stay that weight. I ballooned up  and up.

After losing over 80 pounds, my coach asked me to choose a weight that would trigger an "emergency response". A weight that would mean my number one priority would be losing what I had gained.  Instantly that moment and 185 popped into my head.

At that weight, it is not "muscle" weight. It is fat. It is indulgence. It is ridiculous. It is too close to losing control, but close enough to my goal maintenance weight that I can get back there within weeks.

And I hit it. I hit it the day after Christmas. I sighed. I knew it was coming. I let too many days slide by without measuring. Workouts continued, but my portion fix cups were in a drawer. I skipped protein and went straight for candy.

So Monday, it started. The morning coffee with cream and sugar went away, the portion cups came out, and I am writing down what I am going to eat BEFORE I eat it and (here is the key) I don't eat anything else.  On Monday, I took "before pictures". What a reality check that was.

It means no drinks on New Years and ordering grilled chicken salads when I eat out (IF I eat out). I will do what I need to do to get down to my mainteneance weight.

It also means that in a few weeks, I will be able to indulge without guilt. I will be able to slip on those Friday jeans and not worry about sucking it in or wearing a loose shirt to hide the bulge.

You are about to see a lot of food posts, hunger posts, weight loss posts. They are my accountability. Feel free to scroll past, unfriend me, roll your eyes. I am good with that.

Because the truth is that it has to be my priority or a year from now, I will be back at 260 or higher.